Speaking My Language

Posted by on Feb 19, 2015 in Students | 0 comments

GiftsLast night during Common Place, Bro. Corey asked me several questions about one of my primary love languages, receiving gifts. For me, it really isn’t about the stuff that people get me that I like so much. I tend to measure how much someone loves me by the kind of present they give me or don’t give me, for that matter. For instance, if someone sends me two dozen roses and a huge box of chocolate, I would be highly offended and my feelings would be hurt. Now, this doesn’t make much sense to most people, I’m aware but the fact remains that I don’t like roses and chocolate has never been my favorite. However, if someone walked into my office right now and gave me a venti iced coffee with 2% milk and no sweetener, I would probably tell everyone I encountered for the rest of the day what that person did. I would feel so loved because that person took the time to know, not just the drink that I get from Starbucks, but me and what I prefer.


I’m really good at speaking this language. In fact, I would say that I speak this language way better than I receive it. I despise giving people ordinary, run of the mill presents. It actually pains me to give a person a generic gift card because despite what that other person may perceive, to me, it means that I didn’t care enough (or love that person enough) to give them an actual present. And as silly as it may sound, I can know if I love a person or not based on if I want to even get a person a present or if I’m good with just giving them a gift card.


For a long time this particular love language of receiving gifts eluded me. I didn’t really get it and would tell people that I felt love through quality time or acts of service (which I do, by the way). Actually to be completely honest, I thought someone was really selfish and vain if their primary love language was receiving gifts. I thought that person was greedy and had expensive taste and when it came down to it, I thought that kind of person was straight up materialistic. But then I realized something – it isn’t about the size or the dollar figure of the present at all. It is about the thought and the consideration behind it. I heard someone say this when her kids asked what she wanted for Christmas and it really resonated with me. “I want you to know me well enough to not have to ask me what I want.” That’s the heart of the person whose primary love language is receiving gifts. They want to be known and they can recognize how well they are known by the type of present they are given.


To be known is to be loved and to be loved is to be known.


-Kristi Lee

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